Opportunity wait for me….

Dear readers, Opportunity-Next-Exit

It has been a few months since I had posted anything here.

I have been recently wandering about what I want to do with my summer, and during the upcoming school year; should I look for another job with a higher salary? should I travel to see a friend, or should I stay home this summer do nothing and just study for my prep tests? But I want an opportunity, I want some exchange program, abroad far away from where I live, I want to explore more places, meet new people… I applied last semester to a few stuffs and didn’t get accepted to them, should I give up on doing that? 

But hey, wait… I think I have been very lucky to get many opportunities last year, starting from human rights to training on leadership and entrepreneurship to facilitating sessions with important organizations internationally… I think I had many opportunities, that I might have never thought I will have.. but still I want to explore the horizon 

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However, it has made me a little anxious, and worried, until I figured out something, it’s us who create these opportunities, as Ann Landers once said : ” Opportunities are disguised as hard work that’s why so many people don’t recognize them”

And she was right, because opportunities are all over around us, they can be a school assignment, a final exam, or the smallest responsibility that is given for you to take… I think that when we don’t figure out what is the true meaning of something as in ” opportunity” we will be less able to enjoy our lives, or people around us.

We should be more grateful for the little things we have, appreciate the fact that we have them, they are an opportunity, if you have a loving husband it’s an opportunity, if you have  a loving parent that’s another one, if you find yourself in a school with zero issue that’s an opportunity, if you have food on your table that’s another one too. so by the end of the day it’s up to you and what you want to do with this opportunity, our time is limited, and we won’t have those forever, so decide well, love more, and focus on what you have, but that doesn’t mean to stop looking for what’s far from you, do it, fearlessly and with courage, but don’t neglect what is present there for you too…

 

Fearlessly with love

 

Ikram

Those bullies of mine….And my story in dealing with’em

As most of the kids my parents sent me to a public school, it was pretty exciting for me at the beginning to learn new stuffs about different subjects and meet new people…  yeah new people…  

I remember my years at the middle school where I was the most fat and the tallest girl of my class! yeah I was that BIG …

One of the greatest things that made me a target for those kids was being that BIG for them and everyone was like: LOSE WEIGHT FAT COW!! I have to admit that in the past it hurt me a lot to hear something similar from those I spent eight 136324hours per a day with, and the most hurtful thing was when we were having a team work or a sport activity most of them avoided me…. 

I kept trying to interact with them at first but I failed and I’m not ashamed to say that! so all I did was ignoring them as much as I could, and isolate myself from them till I reached a point where I couldn’t speak to anyone of them!

An other situation where I got bullied was a few years ago, I’ve been attacked by three girls who wanted to take my seat place at the class, I didn’t want to leave my seat for them! who would do that? well and another confusing question how can the three ones of them sit at the same place?? !!!! one of them tried to flip the chair I was sitting at and the other started to curse me and insult me with some vulgar words I never heard someone saying in my whole life!!! I wanted to speak to the teacher but they ran to her before me and told her other stuffs! even I, I was so surprised!! I can’t forget that day ever!! I kept crying, just like kids do, and I went back home and reported everything to my elder brother! the next day we went to the school’s principal and reported everything to him, he was like OK I will deal with IT !! just relax! AND I SWEAR THAT HE NEVER DID !!! 🙂 I didn’t feel like I wanted to go back to school because I felt like I was the joke of the class! but eventually, I had to go back to school!! So I decided to avoid them, I took a chair, a table and put it on the back of the class, and I asked a girl I knew she was good to join me at my table …. I could have revenged and acted the same way as they acted, and attack people as the same way they attacked me, but I choose to do it the hard way! I was teasing them!! 🙂 how? too simply I fat-skinnywas the first of my class for each trimester and the one that gets the best grades in EVERY subject! they went crazy for that! I have to admit that ignoring them was a great thing I did for a while, but later in life I figured out that No man is an island! or that’s why my English teacher kept trying to make me understand it! at some point they were right!! I had to lose weight! so I went through a diet! 🙂 So yeah I went from that pic on the left to the one in the right!!!

Eventually, I figured out that moving on is a bless! So I had to forgive them deep down in myself, without letting them know I did, I didn’t forgave them because they apologized (they never did actually), or because someone told me to! I forgave them because I needed that so I can move on with my life, and see things differently! but the most thing that made me upset and mad! was the fact that they were bullying others…..! and NO ONE was acting about it! even the teachers! I may haven’t reacted wildly when they bullied me, but when they did to that nice redhead girl who was sitting next to me I got upset! It was the first time I ever had to face them! I went to those girls and told them to stop the crap they were doing! because it’s no longer valid! they actually look so stupid, it didn’t make them look any special or different! it was just making them looking worse a day after another!!! when I mentioned how stupid they look I think it was a kind of a punch on the face to them to wake up!! and realize what they were doing!

After that day, I felt like I grew up some fearless attitude inside of me! I wasn’t scared nor worried to tell anyone the truth in their face, and give my opinion fearlessly !

I have to admit that without those bullies I wouldn’t be where I am now! I grew up slowly, a step by step to become fearless! and more confident than I was in the past! Thanks to them I was getting the best grades! thanks to them I developed myself optimism!

My message here is: be who you are, never hurt or bully others, it can harm a lot of people lives, don’t take it as a joke, because this joke can grow up to be something serious and lead others to harm themselves in any possible way just to get forgiveandforgetquotesrid of that pain they think is real! be friendly, be nice, be what you want to be without crossing your limits! and the world will be just FINE …. 

And for those whom are getting bullied, report it, if it’s not working, ignore them, if it’s not working then face them, make them stop that thing they’re doing! don’t behave inappropriately ! forgive them, and move on with your life ! do it for yourself, not for them! I know it’s hard, I’ve been there, and got out safely, as I did, I’m sure you’re strong enough to do as well! I believe in you! focus on positive things, life is beautiful, I know they make it look like it’s the worst place to be at, but trust me, it’s not! we’ve got so much to give! so much to live for, you can’t imagine the opportunities that are waiting for you to take them! never lose hope! go after your dreams and achieve them! don’t tie your life to people nor to objects because they will fade, tie it to a sacred goal and achieve it! that will be the time when you will reach happiness! 

Much love, Ikram ❤

Self-talk beyond psychology and science…

 We all do have those self-talking minutes everyday, and it’s quite normal but sometimes we cannot control our self-talks and it’s definitely bad for us mentally and physically. 

as we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. It’s as though we have an internal voice inside our head that determines how we perceive every situation. Psychologists call this inner voice ‘self-talk‘, and it includes our conscious thoughts as well as our unconscious assumptions or beliefs…

most of time, our self-talk is about: ” I didn’t do well today”, “I’m feeling hopeless”, “I want to achieve that”, “I must be looking forward”….

And by the end of the day we found ourselves exhausted because of a painful headache, or a hot fever!

The self-talk doesn’t affect only the mental side of us, but also it affects us physically, it  is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong. so that’s why it’s so important to control what you’re telling to yourself everyday.

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the self-talk can provide two kind of persons: optimist person and pessimist person.

for the optimist he/she needs only a strong confidence and lot of hope to a great achievement, and of course by controlling his/her actions and being responsible for everything, and they must believe that there’s some good things in this world they must fight for! and they will definitely succeed ! No doubt!

The pessimist person will lead him/her self to failure and that’s by doubt and despair, how they create these two? well the answer is simple

by the self-talk!

It  is often skewed towards the negative, and sometimes it’s just plain wrong, so how do we avoid it? and if the failure is not enough to avoid the negative self-talk what else can happen?

Well, we must challenge ourselves and have the grip on our minds! by asking a few questions such as:

1. Reality testing

  • What is my evidence for and against my thinking?john-p-thinking
  • Are my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations?
  • Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
  • How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?

2. Look for alternative explanations

  • Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
  • What else could this mean?
  • If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

3. Putting it in perspective

  • Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be?
  • What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?
  • What is the best thing that could happen?
  • What is most likely to happen?
  • Is there anything good about this situation?
  • Will this matter in five years time?

And also we must have a specified goal that we seek to reach, if we don’t have any, then let’s create one, why are we living? we must do something that may change our lives and others lives!

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Pessimism might lead to heart diseases and an eternal depression that cant be coped ! it harms our lives and the ones that we love the most, at least if we have that spot of not loving ourselves enough all of us have that big feeling of loving someone else, so we have to protect them how? protect them from the pain of losing us! 
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Be safe they’re waiting for you!

And we must keep in mind that Optimism leads to a healthy life long living term, and a happier one, no diseases no struggling.

and if you need help just go to the closest person to your heart, or someone you can trust, ask for their help, I’m sure they care and  remember that: “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”

Keeping hope … Mother I love you!

I used to believe that my family doesn’t support me a lot in doing the things I like to do the most, but I realized that I haven’t been looking from their corner, I wasn’t blind but I just didn’t try to look. 

I spend the whole summer trying to learn new songs on guitar, and it was amazing, I myself didn’t believe that I can play guitar. 2290_1611245622_beautiful-girl-guitar-music-nature-favim.com-333234

 it wasn’t so easy to learn them all at once, but I kept going one by one, and I felt like I have accomplished something…

It’s really amusing that feeling after doing something you think is good …And yeah I found out that my family supports me as long as they know that I’m doing the right thing.

I like it when my dad calls me to drink a cup of tea with him! he makes me feel special and noticed.

My mother is sick, I’m always in touch with her, afraid to lose her but am gathering the hope, and keep praying that she will be fine.

I’m always  thankful to all of my family, without them I wouldn’t be who I am, though we argue and do not agree in some points, but our love and the fact that we’re faithful for each other, keep us strong and looking forward .

I miss my mother a lot, she has been away for five months till now,

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 I dislike the emptiness she left behind her, we start knowing how valuable she was when she was here, I regret that I wasn’t so close to her in the past.

She used to be the the weapon of my self-vindication, she defends me a lot,

I miss seeing that angelic joy on her face when something good happens to one of us,

she keeps us all together in the rough times and in the happiest moments,

I’m just so grateful to have her in my life, though she’s far I always feel like she’s here and she never left… by keeping her in touch.

The media and the internet is such a bless definitely !

I almost lost hope on her, when I knew she’s so sick, now I’m really grateful to god and to everyone who saved her, I wish I can thank them one by one personally if I can!

this lesson is for the life time: keep hope on your family because they will never ditch you in rough!

My fear Scientifcly What is it?

 In and out of your veins…

So this is going to be my first post yeah 🙂 … Well I’m trying to develop my skills in psycholgy and it’s secrets…and one of the things that keeps me wondering what happens when we’re scared??? So here’s everything I found yet…

When fear crept into your mind it must be something outrageous… In fact we’re not afraid because the scence is scary…which is not scarly in real…But we are scared because we’ve learned once something and we had a psychological reaction on it… it is called a fight or a flight response. So when you get scared of something like your dealing with some issue do you stay and fight or escape? in both ways your body does a number of things automatically so it’s ready for quick action or a quick escape.

Your heart rate increases to pump more blood to your muscles and brain. Your lungs take in air faster to supply your body with oxygen. The pupils in your eyes get larger to see better. And your digestive and urinary systems slow down for the moment so you can concentrate on more important things. however….the right choice will make you feel calm if you’ve chosen to stay and fight of course…but the wrong choice will make your body disturbed for a while and then maybe you’ll survive or maybe you’ll get nut! so it’s better to calm down when your panic’d everything is so worthless… 😉